It's frustrating with the spouses & S/Os...but I figure if I am suppose to give TSM time because it's taken me so long to develop my addiction, they deserve the benefit of time as well to understand that we have changed. They've developed years of watching out of the corner of their eyes, so I guess that's kind of hard to just shut off.

My husband just ignores the whole thing right now...but I know I 'snuck' 1 extra glass of wine this weekend which felt weird. I think maybe the whole thing may actually take more like a year before we have all the psychological kinks of our addictions worked through and family can take a breath and not worry about our relapsing. I'm ok with that.

I'm so fortunate to be doing this with my SO. When I get disappointed in myself and the seemingly sparse results (so far), he's right there to remind me that this is a fairly long process, and that we're gonna beat this thing together!

N101CS, has your wife read Dr. Eskapa's book? Can you convince her to do so? I'm wondering if you just plain told her what you had done, and then went ahead and had your drink or two in the open, if she wouldn't come to understand more quickly that this method really has been a Godsend for you, and for her? After all, seeing is believing - and having to sneak around to take a drink is going to have some negative repercussions, I would think. The whole idea here is to begin to feel like a normal person, and not some sneaky, ashamed, low-life. While the first several times of drinking in front of her might be somewhat tense, I'm betting that as long as you don't get drunk, it will work to your favor faster than you think.

Also, thanks for the heads up on having realistic expectations. I'd be happy just to have the brain fog lifted, to feel like participating more at things I always enjoyed, to reconnect with my non-alcoholic friends. I'd like to be able to go to dinner with friends who drink moderately, and stop after the first or second drink. I'd like to not have to sneak a bottle to my room when we visit out-of-town acquaintances. I'd like to spend a lot less MONEY on alcohol!