Hi,

I have a loved one who is scared to try treatment, but he brings it up after remorses.

I will try to post again later about him, but LOL oh my session timed out last time.

He is 51, scared of detox, refuses counseling, AA. Private guy, keeps to himself. High profile community involved person. Won't go to the doctor. He can't stop drinking. He's tried..failed, got frustrated, and drank really hard. Takes him a couple days before he starts to feel withdrawal. He is a shut the drapes, lock the door, cel phone off and drink to pass out type. Can do this for 2-3 days.

I fought for years to be in his world, partly because I knew he was spiraling down, and because I love him, and I care. He told me years ago I couldn't handle him. He can't handle me saying "I love you". His face looks like I'm ripping his heart out when I say it. I wonder if he feels he is a worthless case and doesn't deserve love because of the dependency. he has done alot of awful things to make any sane woman run for the hills. But I stay, and he can't understand it.

Right now he has shut me out and says he hates me and wishes he would die. We finally began living together last May after he confessed an infidelity and got scared. His texts to me.."I want away from it." "I'm so sorry".
He was ready for treatment then, but I missed my window. He slipped back into the bottle again.

He is passing out between drinks just about every night on the couch. Drinks on average about 2-3 24oz 8.1% beers and a fifth of vodka, anywhere between 4-7 days a wk in addition to whatever he's had at the bar.

He's missed work from binges. Gotten injured several times. Quit breathing on me. Cheated on me. Is Jekyll & Hyde. Drank all his adult life. Duii in his 20's. Has anger issues during withdrawals and is verbally abusive to me during heavy drinking. Can't recall alot of stuff and says I'm lying. Keeps asking me to move out, and I refuse. I know..I can't handle walking away from him when I am all he has.

Never had treatment, never been hospitalized, never wants anyone to know. I think he is thinking he's too far gone. He says he thinks he's going to die from drinking. This talks been going on for about two 1/2 years now. Depression and his father's abrupt death years ago seems to be intertwined with the alcohol. His job requires a finesse of "disconnect". He works in trauma. He's disconnected all the time now, and has little pleasure in anything in his life except for drinking.

His only lifeline, is my child. she is his world, and the love of his life. She calls him "dad". The child he never had. He is careful to watch his intake when she is around, but when she is away, look out. He is comfortable getting beyond safe limits with me and I make sure he's safe at night. I told him once, don't stop drinking, whatever you do, until you know you are ready for help.

I want to approach him with TSM. I won't leave him. I want him to live. He thinks running is the answer. He keeps looking for jobs far away. Um, for like a year he's done this. All talk. He's passed on several jobs. But the other day, he was so out of control that he pushed me down and drew back to hit me during a hangover, and he realized he almost could have done it. He ran from the house, changed his phone number, demanding that I move right away.

Nope. I've been through worse. Don't scare easily anymore. We settled back into our comfort zones after that. He's back to drinking himself to death, I'm back to monitoring him.

How do I start? Thought about getting the pills and doing a one-girl intervention. But he is afraid to trust me at this point, although I have never betrayed him. He keeps saying (drunk) I'm going to betray him. Even posting, here, to all of you, though you don't know him/his name, would be thought of as betrayal to him.

Wow.

Let me take this in. Give me a second.

First of all, you are one tenacious broad! Your refusal to abandon ship is comendable. However, having to endure abuse of any kind is not. So please remember to first and foremost take care of you!

Your guy is a perfect candidate for this treatment. Most of us on this forum dislike AA and yet we wanted something better for ourselves; our lives. You wrote: "He's disconnected all the time now, and has little pleasure in anything in his life except for drinking"--- Let me tell you something, he is deriving very little pleasure from his drinking. He knows that a monster lies within and whether you see it or not he loathes his alcoholism. It is like an unwanted guest that refuses to leave. He has a constant craving in his brain that will not cease, subside, or go away.

Enter Naltrexone.

By all means show him this forum. Have him look on the "The Cured" list and read some threads there. Get him started because at 51, he has a l-o--n---g road ahead. He will have to commit for a year or possibly more. His addiction and habits are deeply ingrained. He will like a couple of things about TSM right away, 1) There's only one rule to follow- Nal+Al+Patience= Regaining Control and 2) He must drink his way through this treatment. So there is no withdrawal and no abstaining from alcohol. On the contrary, he has to drink in order for this method to work.

As far as a doctor goes... well, many people here purchase their Nal online at River Pharmacy, but there were recent changes regarding prescriptions. You'll have to check it out.

Gosh, I wish you much success with involving him in this treatment. Tell him that Science will be his Higher Power. If he does join us, he will undoubtedly be among kindreds!

Keep us posted,

Ketchikan1

thank you for the compliment. and for replying.
As I said.. been through worse. Most of his stuff, I can deflect. I went through alot of counseling myself for PTSD from my ex abuser of 10 years and grew an iron backbone. Now I stand my ground. Always.

I think perhaps purchasing a starter pack of Naltrexone and giving him some information might be what I need to do. If I can find it online. I can't force him to do treatment, even as alluring as it sounds of drinking your way sober. He might be too scared to try it. But what has he got to lose.

Is it info or the Nal you are looking for online?

The info is here:
viewforum.php?f=3

Many people use River Pharmacy to get the medication.

Hi!

yes I am looking for both info about TSM and Nal. Been chatting with ketchikan1 and she's been very helpful. I've been doing so much reading about TSM lately I think my eyeballs are going to roll down my cheeks. Haven't read the book yet.

I've found one pharmacy but I'm pretty leery of it, overseas-foreign-pharmacy.com, they're selling 30 tabs for 130.00 but it seems too cheap. The shipping is 45.00ish if I want 7-10 days shipment. Has anyone ever used this online pharm before?

Hello There,

I can relate. I am a professional in my town. High achieving, very well known. In the depths of my problem with Alcohol, I was distraught, and wished I would die to relieve my wife and children of the pain. I didn't want to go to AA (even though I eventually checked myself into rehab and tried it - to failure).

Tell him that he can keep on drinking for now as long as he takes NAL 1 hour before doing so. Everything will get better for both of you.

I am about 10 months in, not cured, but I am totally in a different place in my life. I have hope, my sanity, better health, and much more of a handle on my drinking.

Read my thread or have him read it. Getting him to take NAL every time, 1 hour before drinking, will change it all. I am sure.

PM me if you wish. All the best.

Hi,
Regarding online pharmacies, I have ordered from both River and United Pharmacy and have been pleased with both.
Also it is my husband who is doing TSM after I discovered Dr Eskapa’s book and we both read it together. We were nervous and scared, but just felt as if we had nothing to lose and everything to gain. It came a time when we both knew we had run out of rope to hold our marriage together (we have been married almost 26 years). I have only positive things to say about TSM. The first few weeks held a lot of ups and downs, and maybe there will be more of that ahead, but after 10 weeks I can honestly say that though he is not quite there yet, if this is as good as it gets I’m very, very happy! Wishing you all the best in whatever decision you both make.

Vegas06,
I am pretty envious of those who can get a script for Naltrexone, but for some who wish to keep their medical records blank, it's understandable why ordering online is better. yeah I am looking at the costs of non-script online ordering. If it weren't for keeping it quiet..I'd run to the doctor myself for these.
I will check into United Pharm also, thank you!

JDog,
I'm going to read your thread here in a few and yes, will PM you. Thank you for sharing

Welcome HF...and good lord that is a sad story. I'll agree with Ketch that you should get this man on TSM immediately, but also think he will need profound therapy. This is not a person who is made ill only because of alcohol, I would surmise. I can only hope that he will get the help that he needs - you certainly are an amazing person for dealing with this situation. All best.