I brought it up... got the book, told her to read it, who normally checks in (co-depenency anyone?!) on any/everythng about alcohol usage... ordered my Naltrexone.

Got a VEHEMENT no way... the usual I'm sure... it's an excuse to drink, etc... even couples counselor helped her along. The usual you never will again, and so on and so on

What to do? Other than sell my never used naltrexone (is that legal)?

This is a difficult one.

Most councilors can't, or won't, look beyond a typical 12-step approach to alcohol addiction, so you probably made things worse by pulling the councilor into the the discussion.

Here's an article from the New York times about the Sinclair Method: http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.h ... A96F9C8B63

The problem with abstinence using a 12-step program, or similar, is that they simply don't work for most people. Ultimately, most people relapse. If you search the forums here, you'll find several references to articles and studies reporting the success rate of AA (12-step programs) and it is 10% or less. Here's one I found doing a quick Google search that reports between a 2.9% and 7% success rate: http://www.addictioninfo.org/articles/1 ... Page1.html

The Sinclair method has a 70% success rate, as reported in Dr. Eskapa's book; the New York times article I linked above states a 60%-80% success rate. Perhaps you could point the numbers out to your wife. Do you want to try something with a 10% success rate or something with a 60%-80% success rate?

What you can do if she is still adamantly against the Sinclair Method is keep your Nal and take it before you do drink in the future, because ultimately you very likely will drink again.

Q

Hi Dan and welcome,

Your wife's (and councilor's) reaction is unfortunate but typical. AA and 12 steps movements have done a very good marketing job of convincing people that abstinence is the only answer to addictive behavior, despite their dismal success rate. Dr. Sinclair's 78% success rate has been proven in several double blind, placebo controlled clinical trials. There is no doubt about his results, they have never been disproved.

You have the book and the Naltrexone now, I'd suggest you read the book, if you haven't already, and start TSM. The things is, you are the one with the problem with alcohol, and you are the one who can fix it. You've already tried AA and counseling and abstinence and they haven't worked. AA say that the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again hoping for different results... it's time to try something new: TSM.

Be clear with your wife, tell her you intend to try TSM because you have tried abstinence/AA and they haven't worked for you (and the 85-90% of people who try) Tell her you'd like her support and that you'd like her to read the book. If she refuses to do so, I would suggest not discussing it with her any further, and just let the results speak for themselves. If she continues to badger you into abstinence etc... don't engage, you can simply explain that you don't see the point of discussing a subject with someone who has no knowledge, information and experience of the subject at hand (TSM).

Start by counting your current number of daily units, if you are drinking. Record them in your signature. If you are abstinent at the moment, do NOT drink without taking Naltrexone!!

Take 25mg (half a tablet) 1 hour before you start drinking, during that hour, eat something that contains protein and drink some water, and wait. After a few days, up the dose of Naltrexone to 50 mg and continue as usual. Remember the Golden Rule: Naltrexone+1 hour before you start drinking. Always eat some protein and drink some water before you start drinking alcohol, always.

Good luck.

Curi

thanks for the prompt replies.

have the book, have read it (a few areas many times). have the nal, but it's a (difficult) subject I can't get too far into, but my taking it would be catastrophic at this stage in our relationship.

i have been thinking for my own health, of getting more and doing it on the background.

over the last year my consumption is already way down (when I use, it's ~4/day vs 14-16/day). in dangerous secrecy... if I go honestly abstinent, than fantastic, but eventually I'd like to re-engage socially w/out her freaking out that I will go down the path of all-out abuse.

i see a pysiological regiment, combined w/ what i learned in 'rehab' program (psychological)... all the more better. I know the stats... and adding more help (traditional/12 programs, Sinclair, this forum, etc...)... all the more better ?

I was lucky, my partner doesn't live close and does understand. Other people however, well I had to keep them in the dark and get on with it. They still don't totally understand but they know are in the know, and know I've turned the situation around.

Doesn't stop them thinking it doesn't work if I go and have a heavy night, or get drunk.

I had the exact same issue with my spouse who thought it was an excuse to drink. My doctor prescribes Naltrexone for cravings while still pushing AA and a sponsor. My husband wants to hear from the doctor he supports TSM which won't happen. Were you ultimately successful? Did you wife ever have a change of heart?

So DanFromDuluth it's been 4 months since your last post. What has happened over this time?