Well I'm hung over again this morning and depressed as hell. Twice in less than a week. I went out yesterday to a girls night/wine and cheese and I'd given myself a two drink limit. I got home at one in the morning with about seven or eight under my belt. Now I'm sick in bed reliving the night and the things I shouldn't of said. I'm depressed and although I'm not praying I'm doing something like it ...begging for this part of my life to be over. I know this is normal I know it's not just me I know I should just forget it because it's in the past and move on. I know all those things and still I'm just so over this and I just want to be healthy and free from this nightmare. It really feels like hell sometimes - literally.

Jephiner

Ah, Jephiner. So sorry for what you are going through. Yes, we have all been there but, no that doesn't make today too much easier for you, except knowing that you are not alone. You are doing everything you can do to get better, that is all that any of us can expect of ourselves. We can't do any more than that. I wish I could wave a magic wand and get you (and ME!) to the end of this process more quickly. Now that we have seen relief in site we want it all the time, we want to be able to count on it.

Your signature says you haven't been tracking...........would it help to start again? Just wondering. You had some good days last week, seeing them in print, so to speak, may give you a needed boost.

This is just your reptilian brain trying to figure out IF you really mean it!! Tell it YES I DO!!

My thoughts and prayers are with you. BIG HUGS TODAY from Newlife

Hi Jephiner, I feel for you and totally understand where you are coming from. I know for myself that I will stick with TSM for as long as it takes as there is nothing else out there for me. I thought I would give you a link of what Badger sent me at the 13 week mark and I was drinking way more than usual and really down too. So hang in there with the rest of us and try not to beat yourself up so much as we are all guilty of doing the same.

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Nal On!

Thank you guys so much for your replies this morning. I really needed it. I was feeling very "Groundhog Day", and I wasn't digging it at all.

I still feel like crap - nursing a water and not daring to eat - but I'm getting through it. I guess there is something to be said about being hungover so often in my life, I know that this too shall pass and I just need to wait it out.

Thanks for that link Cheeto. I had actually found that when I hit around 3 months because I was frustrated and then realized that if I was average, I would be looking at August. I then promptly forgot and this morning while I speaking to my husband on the phone, he reminded me...."Remember, it is probably going to be until August?" He is so good to me....so encouraging and just keeps telling me that I am almost there and to just focus on feeling better. I'm not sure how I got so lucky.

I have talked to a number of friends today and they have all been so great too. My friends being really gentle and kind about last night and others giving me tips on how I could avoid a repeat. Things I haven't really thought about before, like possibly just letting the hostess know when I arrive that I am trying to be moderate and not to top up my glass of wine .... I guess you have to have those kind of nights to come up with techniques to avoid it in the future.... so at least I am learning while I suffer.

Thanks again for your support in spite of my downer email - it was a bit like a scud.

Jephiner

Funny Jephiner that I am my own hostess most of the time and am responsible for over pouring myself drink after drink night after night, ughhh!
I'm with you on that Groundhog Day thing or like knocking my head against a brick wall over and over. Just like they say just stop knocking your head and it won't hurt anymore but my stupid alcoholic brain talks me into doing it again pretty much every day and hoping for a different outcome, duh!
It seems so simple and I know any non-alcoholic would say "Just Stop" but we just give in and then pay the price time and time again.
I am so hoping sooner than later I can get myself on the Cured List, God that would be a dream come true!
Ok hang in there and Nal On!

We will all get there. We just will.

I've been thinking about something that I think might really help me as a rule for myself that I read quite a few years ago in one of the moderation books. It suggested one drink per hour. I've done that for the last couple of nights and I find that it makes it much easier to only have one or two. For some reason where I get myself into trouble is starting off too quickly. I need to learn to nurse that first drink, or, even if I drink it quickly, try to wait between drinks, have a big glass of water, distract myself.

Nal on, Ladies!! Newlife

The trouble with one drink per hour is when I start around noon ..... I still stop at 5p.m. or 6p.m., but that equates to 5 or 6 drinks. Jephiner - I hope that you are feeling better today - one good thing about hangovers - they always stop us drinking for a day or two - well, they do me anyway! I have posted on my own thread that I took 1/8th of an AB this morning and plan on it for the next few days - I MUST have some AF and Nal free time. Newlife - I plan on going to that link that Badger sent you, that you posted. I too am discouraged and down - yet again. I never used to get like this and it really is getting old. I want my happy back. Oh Jephiner - please do not be discouraged if you get to August and are still plodding on - I have been here since January and feel as if I am never going to get there ! Cheeto - I am glad that you too are going to keep on going - as you said, there is nowhere else for us to go.

Hugs to all, Maggie x