Well this was unexpected ... the last few days I've had almost NO craving and at times an outright aversion to alcohol. I've had some nausea as well (though only on an empty stomach) and not sure if it was some stomach virus or a side effect of NAL because I've taken 25-mg boosters a few times in the last week.

Today I'm pretty sure I could have gone AF because the idea of drinking anything this morning was revolting, and I'm not at all hungover. But by 11 a.m. I was getting pretty uncomfortable with apparent withdrawal. Mostly just feeling jittery and anxious, unable to sit still and concentrate on my work. Head feeling kind of spazzy like it might fly off my shoulders at any moment.

I should mention that I've been weaning myself off baclofen all this time as well. Before TSM I was on it for over a year at doses up to 120 mg daily before it stopped working and I relapsed into heavy drinking. I'm down to 20 mg or less daily (and sometimes I forget to take it entirely for a few days), so there could be some bac withdrawal going on at the same time.

Anyway, the irony is that I had to force myself to drink to feel normal again. I suppose that's a weird kind of victory but I'm mostly kind of pissed off about it.

Arms stretched open, big hug. I think you've done a great job and should be very proud of yourself. You've managed to keep the protocol going for 10 weeks now and are experiencing first hand it's results. Imho, things are going to speed up from here. In the next several months you have the potential of giving yourself the most precious gift of all.........YOU. Congrats, for the majority, you are more then half way through. Keep it up....Peace

Thanks, plantpr0. Big hug right back at you!

Woot, woot.... Here's to aversion therapy...keep up the good work. Keek

Thanks for the support, you guys. Unfortunately, the day ended with a binge, which I'm unhappy about. I guess I drank through the NAL, even with a 25-mg booster in the evening. My partner, who is equally alcohol dependent but unaware of me doing TSM (long story there), got going at dinnertime and I caved and we polished off a couple bottles of wine while listening to music on a high-end sound system, something we do once in a while. Dancing and such.

It was great fun at the time but my brain did manage to remind me I'd regret the aftermath so I knocked off earlier than I might have otherwise. Still felt like crap this morning and had a bunch of disturbing psychological repercussions like extreme agitation and weird thoughts and pacing ... seriously could not get myself calmed down. Is this due to NAL or just the booze and withdrawal? I keep an emergency stash of Klonopin for this sort of thing so .5 mg plus a breakfast beer have gotten me off the ledge for now. But I'm worried.

Applause, imho, you did exactly what this protocol demands, what you're suppose to do. You were safe and it sounds like you had a great time. This is your path to recovery, there's nothing to worry about as long as you follow the Golden rule. I'm sorry you didn't feel well the next day, but wtg on cutting back a lil sooner then normal. With time, I'm sure you're going to learn how to mitigate these. Remember, the only thing conscious about this recovery method is the conscious effort to follow the golden rule. After that, the nal will do all the work. Peace

Kate, don't beat yourself up about wanting to drink. Of course you want to/need to drink sometimes; that's why you acknowledged that you had a problem and sought help for it. And with TSM, giving into your craving is a constructive action.

It sounds like you're following the protocol properly and you're feeling unmistakeable effects of naltrexone. That's fantastic! Your chances of success are really, really good if you stay the course.

Remember, the only thing conscious about this recovery method is the conscious effort to follow the golden rule. After that, the nal will do all the work. Peace

Plantpro, I know this is your thing, but I still think that's a very debatable statement. To begin with, the greatest neurologists, neurosurgeons, neurosurgeons, psychologists, psychiatrists, and addiction specialists would be hard-pressed to precisely identify and distinguish conscious/subconscious, id/ego, even "thought." Regarding TSM, it's simply an evidence-based hypothesis -- nobody can explain precisely how and why it works on some people, nor can they precisely identify what the exact changes to one's "before and after" brain take place through a TSM protocol. People can't even agree on what "alcoholism" really means, nor on whether or not it's a "disease." All we know is, based on trial and error, taking 50mg of the opioid receptor antagonist Naltrexone one hour before consuming alcohol appears to reduce, or even eliminate, the human action of drinking in trial subjects about 80% of the time in clinical studies (and about 100% of the time in rats).

So, when you say "the nal will do all the work," it gets my attention both in the sense that (a) it's not a statement that can be made with such conviction, and (b) it can actually be counter-productive to people like Kate who will almost surely have to somehow involve her "consciousness" in the process -- she said she had an "aversion" to alcohol, yet drank heavily and enjoyed it. I agree with the consensus here that, at least at this early stage, she is probably better taking a Nal and drinking if she's still having cravings as part of the (again, hypothesized) "extinction" protocol of TSM. I mean, maybe I'm speaking with too much conviction, too, but it just seems like common sense (unless we are just as simple as rats).

Either way, Kate, all the signs point to good things with your descriptions of things. (The issue with your alcohol-addicted boyfriend will be something that rats definitely don't have to work through.).

I don't think we're on the same page Barry. Peace

I think this is the point where it's useful to differentiate between cravings and habits. The cravings will fall away without real effort beyond what it takes to take the pill, but people still find themselves drinking without desire because it's part of their routine. That's where it can require conscious effort to disrupt the pattern.

But Barry is correct that at this point it doesn't much matter because the cravings are still present. Just take the naltrexone and drink "as you normally would." You can appraise whether you need to take action later, when you start wondering why you're even bothering to drink anymore.