I am an alcoholic in recovery, sober for 545 days. I had been a heavy drinker for decades until 17th December 2018 when I went into rehab for 6 weeks. In rehab the doctors found I had Atrial Fibrillation and so I am on permanent medication for that. On leaving rehab, I attended AA meetings for 10 weeks but I longed to be able to have a socially active, alcohol free life with friends at restaurants and pubs. My AA group warned me of the pitfalls but I was confident I could cope. I tried returning to my social circles for a short time but frequenting those locations just causes triggers and cravings resulting in me having to leave after an hour and experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

So for the last year I tend to lead a life of isolation in the evenings and weekends. My partner of 26 years (who has never drank alcohol) has lost her social life also as we always went out together.

Since Covid-19 and lockdown, my triggers and cravings are a lot more frequent and my coping mechanisms are struggling. I attend online meetings at times and listen to others returning after a relapse and I feel jealous thinking when is mine going to happen. I could have one great piss-up and then quit again, rejoin the AA group and regain abstinence. But it's that fear of not being able to quit again that is helping me retain my sobriety. However, I fear this miserable life of isolation is going to overcome that fear very soon and what I am hoping is that through an understanding of TSM and the use of Naltrexone, I can be prepared and control my alcohol consumption to a safe level, while returning to a happier more social life.