Hi friends,

I found this website and I'm hopeful. I've been sober for a week and a half, mostly through the threat of antabuse and my wife. The first few days were good...the bliss. After a couple of days, the reality of not getting that rush and the things that I love about alchohol ever again started to set in. I'm nervous, tense and unsure - but sober because of the antabuse, obviously.

I drank 8-12 drinks 3-5 days a week for the last 15 years, although I have gradually gotten to that level.

My reason for wanting to quit is mainly that when I drink too much(usually exceeding my 12 or so)I can become irrational, and once, violent. Unfortunately, my wife is usually the target of the abuse. All but one time has been verbal abuse, and it's not all the time, but it scares me and I don't want to be that person. On the other hand, it's hard to imagine a life without booze. I do get something from it that enrichens my life, I do enjoy a lot of relationships that were developed over alchohol. It's scary to say "forever" and I dont' think I can do it.

My question is though, NAL is a long term solution. It takes months or years for the compulsion to be dispelled. Did you find your behaviour changing though as you went through the process? Did you do less "stupid" stuff? The things that get alcoholics in trouble? Like fighting with your wife and being abusive, specifically? I feel like I have to try NAL, but I'm afraid I'll lose my wife in the process. She said if I drink again, she'll leave me. I think she will tolerate me drinking again, but she will not tolerate another episode of the abusiveness. I know it. I'm walking a thin line, and I don't know that this long process of drinking until I retrain my brain is going to leave me married and it is the most important thing to me.

Any help is appreciated.

Hi PP - Nal is different for everyone. Some folk find it works for them within a few months - others (like me) find it can take way longer - if you haven't read the book, let me know and I can post the link for you or else PM it to you. The thing is, I feel that there is no alternative no matter how long it takes - the writing was on the wall for me even though I never got over 7-8 drinks a night and that had gone up and up over a period of years (ONLY- LOL) so to me, it was only a matter of time before I was having black outs and DUI's - I was not going there so started Nal - it has not worked for me yet although my intake has gone down since I started - and I even ditched half a glass the other night - unheard of pre Nal.

I do think it is a good idea to have your wife read the book too - that way she will understand why you HAVE to drink for the Nal to work!

Wishing you all the best, Hugs, Maggie

Hi PP - Maggies suggestion of having your wife read the book is a good one.

It really is a different road for everyone - for some short, others long, but what is the alternative, really? It DOES work!! xoxo newlife

Thanks guys. Appreciated. I guess my question is though....when your drinking, and you aren't really getting the same effect, but your still say....10 beers deep.....do you still have the feeling of losing control, of inhibitions being lowered? Many alcoholics(and regular drinkers)make poor decisions when they are drunk. Will I be just as prone to that, even though I may not be getting the "euphoria" and endorphin rush that drinking usually brings?

if you drink the same, you'll still get much the same lack of co-ordination, inhibitions & judgement whether you've taken Nal or not. so yes, it's still completely possible to do stupid drunken stuff

TSM is a gamble in some ways. generally there is a good chance that you'll benefit, but there is still some probability that it won't work for you. on the other hand, if you're going to end up drinking/relapsing anyway, then you haven't really got anything to lose by trying it

PP - yes you can still over do it, lowered inhibitions, you still get drunk you just don't get the rush.


Like badger says there is not a lot to lose by giving this a try.

Newlife

Hi Playing Possum,

I just wanted to welcome you. I think everyone covered your questions. I am glad that you are here.

Jaba

on Nal, for me, drinking heavily is harder work, and takes more effort. it just doesn't thrill me like it used to. my attitude toward AL has changed greatly, and consumption is dropping overall.

That answers it. thanks for the welcomes. I'm seeing a psychiatrist next week for the first time in my life and will bring it up, I'm in the middle of reading Dr. Eskapa's book, and I spoke with my wife and we reviewed some of the literature last night. She was intrigued, to say the least and understood it scientifically. She knows I'm very likely to drink again at some point, anyway. She's just rightfully frightened, because I can do frightening things when I get very drunk. I'm scared of that too. We are both scared of having to fight this thing for the rest of my life, though, also, so I guess it's like someone said....what do I have to lose?

I promised her that I wouldn't make any decisions just yet, and I can't anyway....I'm on antabuse! So I have at least a week or two until that could clear my system and I could drink.

Wish me luck, if I decide to proceed I will definitely blog here and may even start a public blog.

Last question....and I know this subjective. We are going to Jamaica next month for our 10th anniversary. It's very hard to imagine being in paradise and having to white knuckle it all the way through the week. That doesn't sound like the relaxing vacation we had imagined for either of us. I know I'm going to drink. Do you think I should start TSM before we go or should I make that the first week? I know its subjective, but looking back on your experience, which makes more sense for making sure that I can exercise some degree of control while we are there? Is the first week usually blissful and "pink cloudy" as the AA folks would say?

I would advise starting a week before you to get over any side-effects (SE's) beforehand. some people experience nausea and some degree of "spaceiness" the first few times. it's advised to start on 25mg, or even 12.5mg for the first few doses, then ramp up to 50mg over a few days. it's generally better to do this in a safe environment - ie at home - rather than out in public

I'm not sure about the blissful/pink-cloud bit, but generally people will get a noticeable drop in consumption in the first few weeks known as the "honeymoon period". drinking does then tend to rise to pre-Nal levels again, before dropping off more slowly towards moderate levels over the longer term

-badger