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 Post subject: Tamara_M's Experience
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 12:26 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2015 8:05 am
Posts: 91
Location: Granite Bay, CA
Hi. I started the Sinclair Method approximately 2 months ago and it's mostly been positive. My drinking has been cutback considerably, and I believe it will be a successful journey.

Some of my pitfalls are that I notice are that I sometimes want to feel the effects of alcohol, and why I want to drink. Maybe not all pitfalls, like seeing that I want to drink when I'm bored. Something I had not known before. And yes, sometimes I think I want to get drunk. When upset, bored, or whatever reason, I do want the effects. I've actually drank after not taking the pill on purpose. Not good, but the truth.

Today, I thought about not taking the medication and drinking. But I did take it, and had a huge sense of, wow, that battle is over today. Now if I do drink, I won't feel the effects and will probably only have 2. Where without it I'd drink all day. It's an amazing feeling to just put the battle aside.

I don't think my AA friends would understand or even believe me. Would accuse me of lying or deceiving myself, and probably both. So I'm feeling somewhat isolated in this journey. I'm here posting, but sometimes I'd love to be able to pick up the phone, and share with someone else going through the same experiences with. It's just not the same posting on a board. Don't get me wrong, I so appreciate this board. I've learned so much, and gotten so much support. Just feeling lonely.

I haven't started tracking yet because adding it to my signature seems too complicated at this point in time for me. But I'll get to it. Would help if I'd just keep track on paper for a start. I just know, my drinking is way down.

Anyone else having these experiences? Would love to hear.

Thank you all.

_________________
wk 1-11 No counting
wk 12. 31/0AF
wk 13 4/3AF
wk 15 11/0AF


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 Post subject: Re: Tamara_M's Experience
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 12:46 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 20, 2015 2:39 am
Posts: 58
Hi Tamara_M!
Thanks for sharing your experience thus far. Glad you are noticing a change in your drinking. I have not yet had the experience of wanting to drink with out taking the pill first, because I know exactly what happens and its absolutely devastating! I truly cannot afford that in my life and don't want to. I noticed that I truly like the buzz I get while on my nal, while not the same as with out it, it's the "normal" feeling I have been seeking out my entire life. I would just ask yourself the questions, "do I want to get better? do I want to go through what I have in the past with out nal?"
If you do want to get better and not go through what you have been previously through, then following the golden rule and always taking the nal beforehand is a no brainer. Just some food for thought. I totally understand though. In the long run, if you follow the golden rule and track your progress, the desire to drink should diminish, at least that is what I have come to understand, and doesn't that sound wonderful? It does to me. I don't want that obsession anymore like they refer to it in AA.
I really am so happy that you are here.
Your story really hit a close spot in my heart, because I have been in and out of AA since around 17. I was sober from 21-23 and then again sober from 23-25. Both times very involved in the fellowship, sponsoring etc. It did a lot for me, but just wasn't my permanent fix. They say in the rooms, to thine own self be true, but I was unable to do that in AA because it requires you to give 100%, but I truly believe most of their literature is outdated and easily disproved at this point.
I understand about missing the fellowship aspect of the program, but for me, this gives me the option of making new friends, friends who don't spend most of their lives reminding themselves about what a horrible alcoholic they are, and how that they cannot do anything with out AA. I still have many friends in the program, but our relationships have definitely changed.
I am really enjoying the support from the Sinclair method forum and hope you can find peace doing the same!!
I am always here if you want to chat. If you need anything just let me know because at the very least, I am available to listen. I am a stay at home mom with only one toddler daughter, so I really do have some free time!

I don't want to tell you what to do, but I would strongly consider tracking. It will be a great way to honestly evaluate your progress and see what I am going to assume are going to be great results!! I couldn't have imagined tracking before, but I decided I really wanted to do everything I should according to TSM, but I do believe you get what you put in and I want a great life!!

Anyway, hope some of this helps!

Lots of hugs to you,
Carli

_________________
Pre TSM I was a very unpredictable binge drinker.
Started TSM on 8/5/15
Week 1: 28/ 2 AF
Week 2: 37.5/ 3 AF
Week 3: 43/ 3 AF
Weeks 4-6: not tracking


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 Post subject: Re: Tamara_M's Experience
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 10:41 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2015 8:05 am
Posts: 91
Location: Granite Bay, CA
Thank you so much for your response.

I don't want to go back to my pre Sinclair days. All a haze.

My daughter committed suicide August 28th, 2014, almost a year ago. My husband and I are now raising her 9 year old son, and my life has changed so much with that.

I know I'm depressed and going to therapy for that. Seeing why I'm drinking is a huge thing for me. I'm bored, but can't seem to get myself to move. Feel like I'm stuck in concrete, lol. I know I want to drink to escape from these feelings.

So much better knowing why I'm wanting to escape instead of relying on, Oh I'm just an alcoholic, and I can't help it. Doesn't work for me.

I'm a stay at home mom now again also, but with a grandchild. And really have too much free time on my hands. Noah starts school next week, so I'll be able to get back into a routine again, and that will be helpful.

I did take my naltrexone today, and was very glad. Had maybe 5 drinks all day. And not drunk, which is a relief. I need to write those numbers down to track.

_________________
wk 1-11 No counting
wk 12. 31/0AF
wk 13 4/3AF
wk 15 11/0AF


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 Post subject: Re: Tamara_M's Experience
PostPosted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 5:04 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2015 12:27 pm
Posts: 1687
Tamara - I am so sorry about your daughter - how devastating for you all - and how wonderful that you are able to raise your grandson - but very hard for you. Please do not drink without taking the Nal - it will negate a lot of the times that you did take the Nal if you do it often enough. Your brain will think that sometimes you will and sometimes you wont so it will be harder for you to get that extinction! And yes, tracking is very important - so please try to do that.

I am also Pm'ing you .....

Hugs, Maggie x

_________________
Pre Nal 40-45 wk


Month 12: 4 drinks TOTAL (Dec '15)
13: 2 drinks (nearly) for Jan '16 !!!
None since Jan '16 I feel that I can safely say that I am cured!


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 Post subject: Re: Tamara_M's Experience
PostPosted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:55 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2015 12:22 pm
Posts: 336
Tamara - tracking is relatively easy. I use an excel spread sheet but if you don't like playing with computers you can place a small number on your calendar each day. Or you can put a magnetic pad on your refrig and just put a mark for each drink you have when home and if you are anything like me and have a few drinks away from home the first thing I do is head for the refrig to get food and you can mark your pad or calendar.

I do find it is encouraging to see my results but also of others. So do it for your self and for the rest of us!

And keep posting

_________________
Start 6/24/15
Pre 10-14 drinks day/70-100 wk
month/avg unit week/af total
1/118/1
2/81/7
3/55/6
4/37/14
5/44/5
6/24/8
7/40/12
8/19/13af
9/27/13af
10/34/8
Month 11 - did not count
Month 12 counted last week -34/3af


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 Post subject: Re: Tamara_M's Experience
PostPosted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 10:14 am 
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Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2015 6:49 am
Posts: 116
Tamara - I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. However, now that you need to take care of her little boy, it makes all the more sense to keep drinks at bay. It might be necessary to stop drinking at home. Try not to buy alcohol. I am doing that for one month already and it works. I only drink if I am out for dinner with adults. Often now, if I am out with my kids, I drink soda. I am tracking on my computer calender. It is very easy and I love seeing AF days there. It makes me proud. I also try to keep myself busy so that I do not feel boredom. Sometimes, I read, other times I go shopping, or I try to declutter my house. I am sure you will succeed. Just Nal on!

_________________
pre TSM 40-50 UK U
TSM start 17.7. 2015

M 1, 19 U avg, 8 AF per month
M 2, 24 U, 5 AF
M 3, 20 U, 11 AF
M 4, 28,5 U, 2 AF
M 5, 21 U, 9 AF
M 6, 27 U, 2 AF
M 7, 27,5 U, 1 AF
M 8, 30 U, 2 AF
M 9, 20 U, 8 AF
M 10, 20 U, 5 AF
M 11, 25 U, 1 AF


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 Post subject: Re: Tamara_M's Experience
PostPosted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 4:58 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2015 7:15 pm
Posts: 529
Location: usa
I'm so glad you're here, Tamara. Nal can really help you out, and it sounds like you're starting to feel that. this board has a ton of support and can really make the difference. we're really here for you and I think you'll find it to be a very non-judgmental community. we're with you. zontar

_________________
Pre-TSM 30-50 drinks per week (US drinks, not units!)
started 4/16/15
months 1-6: avg 17/ 1 AF/wk
months 7-12: avg 13/2 AF/wk
months 13-18: avg 11/3 AF/wk


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 Post subject: Re: Tamara_M's Experience
PostPosted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 9:28 am 
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2015 7:53 pm
Posts: 446
Tamara, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter in such a tragic way. I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are dealing with.

I can identify with your feeling of loneliness and your desire to have someone local with whom to share. I have never been to AA, I have always known it was not for me. I have often wished that it was for me because I think that having others to share with would be a huge help. I have not even told my husband or my daughter about TSM and I am very close to both of them. That has been difficult for me but I truly think that it is the best way for me to go at this point. Is your husband aware and supportive of your use of Nal?

I'm sending you lots of healing energy.

_________________
Weeks 1, 2 - 15, 50 AF/0
Weeks 3-11 not tracking AF/0
Weeks 12-27 average 18-21
Week 28-42 not tracking


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 Post subject: Re: Tamara_M's Experience
PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2015 9:40 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2015 8:05 am
Posts: 91
Location: Granite Bay, CA
Thank you everyone for your support. It really does help me.

A little note here about my progress.

I notice if I drink beer, I don't drink as much. Also, when I go to hard liquor, I don't measure, so I have a big drink, and I'm feeling it. I'm going to buy a jigger to measure. I'm probably making 3 drinks into one. I'm drinking more than I think I am. So the measuring I can see the advantage and the counting of drinks.

Still hopeful, and not giving up.

Tamara

_________________
wk 1-11 No counting
wk 12. 31/0AF
wk 13 4/3AF
wk 15 11/0AF


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 Post subject: Re: Tamara_M's Experience
PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2015 11:33 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2015 12:27 pm
Posts: 1687
Tamara, you cannot give up - it is such early days yet! I am 8-9 months in and am not there yet! Hang in there - and yes measuring your drinks is an excellent idea - I only ever drink Guinness so don't have to worry about measuring !!

Hugs, Maggie x

_________________
Pre Nal 40-45 wk


Month 12: 4 drinks TOTAL (Dec '15)
13: 2 drinks (nearly) for Jan '16 !!!
None since Jan '16 I feel that I can safely say that I am cured!


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