This is the first time I've opened up like this to anyone (it's not what men do, it's not what I do) - it's actually making me feel uncomfortable just thinking about it. I wasn't supposed to be a drunk at 34. I had a great childhood, went to ivy league school, got a great job on wall street, lived in best part of manhattan, married girl of my dreams, had amazing kids, moved to the burbs with the big houses you see on TV. To me an alcoholic was the guy laying on the street drinking cheap vodka at 9AM. That wasn't me, I was classy, drinking expensive scotch and distinguished wine (for health benefits of course). For me to admit that I'm a drunk, is to admit that you are a failure and cannot control yourself. I've been lying to myself for a long time, thinking it's just a little issue I can control at any time. We went to Miami on vacation for a week and I didn't have a single drink. See? I don't have a problem. Except when it comes to booze there is little difference between the guy laying on the street and me. Once I have one drink, it is on.

I'm not really sure how or when it happened. I guess it doesn't matter. NYC is great place to be a drunk. There is booze everywhere and no one drives so no DUIs. I'm from eastern europe so vodka has always been around - I remember my grandfather letting me dip my finger into his shot glass so I can have a taste at age 7. At a certain point it went from social drinking around work and friends to having a few glasses of wine by myself to relieve stress to finishing off 3/4 of a scotch bottle in a night. My wife knows I drink a lot, and she complains about it sporadically, but it has never been a serious conversation which has just fueled myself to continue being this way. My wife doesn't know any of this, and I don't think I'm ready to share it with her so not sure how it will impact my recovery.

A few weeks ago I decided I wanted to change my life. I bumped into One Little Pill documentary (if this works, thanks Claudia) about TSM. I am sick of the hangovers, the weight gain, the blackouts, the constant thinking if it's now acceptable to have a drink. I went to a doctor and admitted I had an alcohol issue - that was a big first step for me. The doctor was trying to push Vivitrol hard, but I was completely against it. She reluctantly prescribed Nal. I took 12.5mg 2 days ago and didn't feel much, had my normal drinks. Yesterday I happened to be driving on the way back from work and decided to take 25 mg - I instantly became very dizzy, which I could handle, but then I started having anxiety - almost panic attacks. I don't usually feel like this so it bugged me out and I promised myself to never take that pill again, but later calmed down. I had a few drinks of scotch, nothing crazy and decided to call it a night.

So that's where I am. Yesterday bugged me out and I still don't feel quite right today - can't focus, upset stomach, anxious, don't really feel like myself. I may try not to drink for a few days to get my head straight and take another 25mg. Should I try lowering my dose? How long before these side effects go away? Thanks for reading, appreciate any advice.

Hi nyc1 and welcome.

I can relate to SO MUCH of what you wrote about. I've been talking nal for 11 weeks now and I still haven't told my husband. Unlike you, I couldn't even work up the nerve to tell my doctor (she believes that any drinking is bad, period!! She is always telling my husband, who hardly drinks, to stop.) So I buy my nal online.

All I can say about the side effects is don't let that deter you. Wait them out. I think for the vast majority of people they are gone in a week, maybe two. A week or two of feeling "off" is really nothing when you weigh it against a chance of being able to get on top of this thing.

I can relate to what you say about the hangovers, blackouts, and on and on and on. It sounds like my drinking came on more gradually than yours did, but like you, I have had enough. I want back control of my life and my choosing to drink or not to drink.

I hope your side effects disappear quickly. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Newlife

hi nyc1,

welcome to the forum & TSM

there's no need to feel uncomfortable, we're all in the same boat to a greater or lesser extent. well done on realizing you wanted to do something about your problem

you could try starting with 12.5mg - a quarter pill - & work your way up from there. not taking the pill on an empty stomach quite often helps initially, but the side-effects pass after a few days for most people

all the best - look forward to hearnig how you get on

-badger

Hey NYC1,

Welcome. I know this is hard but you are in the right place. That is the best part of this - no need to tell anyone (other than the doctor) unless you want to. You are not alone and once you a bit of distance from your own suffering, you will see it even more clearly. Since I started TSM and started going to work events/conferences and out socially I see how many people definitely have challenges with alcohol and are just working hard everyday to contain the damage. AA didn't work for me however that was one of the best things about it for me when I went, realizing how you really are not alone in your experience and there are a million others like you, who have a good life and should not be addicts, but who are. Genetics are a real kick in the ass.

The side effects will fade. It usually takes a good week or two. My first time around I was really nauseous for several weeks but I think it was because I jumped right in at 50. What I did find this time around was that even if you can have 1 AF day each week, and you can not take the Nal on that date, it seems to undermine the nausea for me. I'm not sure why, but it seems to work that way. Because this really is a long term plan, easing in may be your best option. Even if you take 12.5 just before bed for a couple weeks and then 25 for a couple weeks and then start using it 1 hour before drinking, if it works, it will be worth delaying the endorphin block for the month. Something you may want to consider is Baclofen if you are having anxiety attacks. There seems to be some indication that high dose Baclofen can also be a treatment for Alcoholism. I know that there are some people on here are taking a combination of Nal and Baclofen but there does seem to be a lot more problems with side effects for those who have tried the Baclofen.

The way I see it is that you are already drinking and know you can't stop on your own so my advice is to do whatever you can to make this work for you, even if that is easing in slowly. If you give up there is no hope you will get better so whatever it takes to get to the place where you can take the full dose in a way that is tolerable for you, is the right plan of action.

Honestly, this part does suck. We all struggle with being patient and are all so sick and tired of being sick. It is a bit like a marathon that we all agree to because we know that the other option is worse than this one. Just be gentle with yourself and keep remembering that this is about the long term goal and as long as you are moving towards your goal, you are two steps ahead of where you were before.



Jephiner

Welcome to the group! On the side effects, there are people around the board who had to keep to 12.5mg doses for several days before being able to ease into 25mg for a while. It could take you a few weeks to work your way up to the full 50 comfortably.


I definitely wouldn't classify our situation as a failure. It's funny that we don't do that for other things. Say you're pretty fit and then over a few years you get to eating too much junk and soon five years pass and you're up 50 pounds. So, you fell into bad habits that got themselves ingrained in your brain and now need some help to snap out of it. You go to the doctor, you read up on better nutrition, maybe hire a personal trainer to get you going at the gym.

I can't see how that's failure. Granted, no one aims to get into a bad habit but it's not "failure" when you do. You're not disgusting and degenerate because you did. These things happen, and then you need some course correction. That's just life.

How do you know when to comfortably step it up? I've felt awful all day, didn't want to even think about drinking. I could see how this would deter wanting to drink but not in a good way - I've just felt to ill to think about it. I will probably try going back down to 12.5, but kind of dreading stepping back up to 25. It really interfered with my entire day, I couldn't think straight and it impacted work. Was thinking if symptoms don't subside stopping and starting when I'm on vacation for a week so I won't worry about work. Do the side effects come back with full force?

If 12mg doesn't have any side effects, I'd keep using it. If you feel 100% no side effects after 3 to 5 days, I'd try 25mg again on a day where it'd be OK to feel off.

I got some anxiety when I started on mine (no where near the level of discomfort you're having though), and I found the first few times i took 50mg, it seemed to help to take 25mg then take the other 25 an hour or two later.

Edit: I should stress that for some, it's taken two weeks at 12mg before they could go to higher doses. No matter how long you give it, i would go with the 12mg instead of just not taking the Nal at all until you have free time to feel off.

Take the 12.5, stop worrying about the 25. Listen to yourself: You know you have a big problem, but you're trying to make the 25mg an even bigger problem. It's not. The big problem will be if you don't take the Nal.

I never told my wife either. Married for 20 years in a close relationship. I just told her I was trying to lose weight. I always expected her to make some comment about me sans drink, but she never really said anything. One day I'll have to ask her I guess...

Hi there... welcome to the board...

I am pretty new to nal myself and am learning as I go along... my first day on nal I took 25mg and it floored me. I was as sick as the sickest I've ever been and was basically bedridden that day. I'm a relatively small woman so I'm sure that exacerbated the effect.

Complained about the side effects to a dentist friend of mine because he writes scrips and I figured he has more knowledge of medical side effects than your average person, and he was like "Did you take it with food?" immediately.

Nope, I had not. The bottle doesn't say to take with food. The next day, as gingerly and reluctantly as could be, I took 25mg again, this time on a full belly (like steak and potato full). No side effects at all. The next day I was able to move to the full 50mg pill without sickness and have been taking it ever since.

I hope your journey with nal is a good one... don't give up. I've had my ups and downs but just had my first Alcohol Free day yesterday after three months and I feel amazing today.

Hi nyc1 and welcome - I agree with Brittany - make sure that you take the Nal on a full tummy - I had nausea initially and found that as long as I had food in my tummy it wasn't as bad - it took a couple of weeks to fully go away but I can take it now with no problems. There is no race to get to 50mg - you took years to get to this point and it is not all going to stop overnight - take the 12.5 for a few days - then ease up to 25 slowly - hang in there - when it all works, it will have been worth it !

Hugs, Maggie