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 Post subject: Two Days In
PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2015 8:19 am 
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Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2015 7:52 am
Posts: 56
I can't believe I am posting here, with actual real hope of being able to learn to drink like a non addict.

I heard about naltrexone only about 2 weeks ago. it was in an opinion article that I found on a news website. I don't even remember the name of the article. If I can remember it, I will post it here.

but let me back up and tell my story. So, I was raised in a very religious household of complete abstainers. My parents, grandparents, uncles, cousins, friends, and everyone else I knew, did not drink.

I didn't have my first taste of alcohol until I was 20 years old. The very first time I tasted it I got completely wasted. And I loved it. At first I was just a binge drinker. Once every couple of weeks, I would get completely wasted, & I mean blackout, puking drunk, with my military buddies. This carried on for a number of years, & I didn't consider myself to have any sort of alcohol problem.

I'm not exactly sure when I started drinking every day. I do remember the day that I realized that I couldn't stop drinking everyday, though. It was about 3 years ago, & I was trying to go on a fad diet for some minor weight loss. the diet required that I give up every type of sugar, starch, carbohydrate, processed food, etcetera. I gave up every last delicious food without hesitation. Except for alcohol. I couldn't stop and didn't want to. Once I realized that I was drinking everyday and didn't seem to want to stop, it's like it gave me permission to drink even more.

within the last couple of years, it has advanced from two or three drinks a night, to being drunk most nights. I was drinking during the day, sometimes at work, not infrequently arising during the night to have two more drinks so I could fall back to sleep. I would pat myself on the back, if I managed to go 2 days out of 7 without being utterly wasted, blackout drunk.

I tried to go cold turkey and quit. I was successful for 6 weeks. I felt great during that six weeks. But when I had my first drink again, I started drinking even more. I was hungover to the point of being basically dysfunctional at work 2 or 3 days out of every week. I started fighting with friends for no reason, and losing friendships. I was driving drunk very frequently. I know there were more than one occasion that I almost killed myself but I only remember one.

during this time, I had a close friend that got a DUI, and elected to go to rehab and stop drinking entirely. I supported her, and empathize with her more than anyone else. But as I watched her journey, I thought that that was unrealistic for me. I couldn't possibly be so public about stopping drinking. I didn't want the folks at Alcoholics Anonymous to be my only friends. I didn't want to be defined by my alcoholism. I thought to myself frequently, if only there were a way to reset my brain to how it was before I started drinking.

the funny thing is, as my alcoholism advanced, I continue to be successful and happy in almost every part of my life. While I lack a spouse or a significant other, I am happy in most other reasonable ways. I don't smoke or gamble, I eat extremely healthy, I exercise everyday, I own a house and a car, I have very little debt, I have a good job at which I am reasonably well regarded, I really have it all.

And yet, every day, I felt like I was watching a movie of myself self destructing. And that no one else could see the movie. a few times, I tried to confide in my friends about my drinking problem. I told 5 or 6 friends from my friend group. Almost as a whole, they did not take me seriously. Because my life is so well organized in every other way, they didn't take me seriously that my drinking was so bad. They knew me as a party girl, and they know I like to drink, but they have no idea that the fun crazy person they know from seeing me out a couple of nights a week, is getting wasted every single other day, all by herself.

so I had very little support from my friend group. Even though they are good people, I didn't think they could support any sort of
real sobriety initiative because they just didn't understand.

anyway, so this brings us to the present. I read about naltrexone in that article. I set an appointment with a substance abuse DR in my Midwestern state. I went to the appointment on Friday. I didn't mention the Sinclair method by name, because at that point, I didn't even know it had a name. But I understood the general usage of naltrexone from the reading I have done.

the doctor agreed with me that I have a serious problem. He seemed very reluctant to prescribe naltrexone in a pill form. if I were to receive naltrexone at all, he wanted it to be in the form of an 1100 dollar shot which my insurance would not cover. he did not mention the Sinclair method, or offer any resources or support for this method of treating addiction. He seemed incredibly poorly informed about the uses of nal and the successes I had read about. but I'm a good communicator, & a persuasive speaker and ultimately I walked out with a prescription for generic naltrexone.

I am two days in to my new journey. I can tell you I have not ever experienced, or at least not in a long time, so few cravings for alcohol. I had one drink this past Friday night, after my first dose of the pill, and one drink last night after my second dose of the pill.

both nights I slept wonderfully. I woke up without a hangover! I don't even know what that feels like anymore! I had a good appetite for real food, I was able to nap, but still have energy throughout the day. If this is what it feels like to be sober, this is what I want for myself. I cannot believe this little pill (coupled with a great deal of enthusiasm and optimism on my part) might have the potential to allow me to interact with alcohol like a normal human!

it has been over a year since the last time I was not totally wasted on both Friday and Saturday night. I drink every day, but Friday and Saturday night are usually the worst.

today will be a new test. I have plans to go to a bar with friends. So this will be my first experience using the pill in a social drinking situation. Fingers crossed. Maybe I am naive. And of course I am only 2 days in. But I have so much hope! for anyone that has read this far, I'm sorry it's so lengthy. I just had to share my story.

I just can't believe that I will have a chance to live a long and full life without alcohol killing me. The way I have been living, I know I would have killed myself at some point. Whether from drinking and driving, or from physical deterioration. I now have hope. That it doesn't have to be that way. keep your fingers crossed for me


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 Post subject: Re: Two Days In
PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2015 8:36 am 
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Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2015 7:52 am
Posts: 56
I found the article! for anyone that wants to see what inspired me. again, I appreciate anyone that has read this far, & I would enjoy any questions or comments or interaction. This is new to me, and I would enjoy talking to folks!

Http://www.theatlantic.com/features/arc ... us/386255/


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 Post subject: Re: Two Days In
PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2015 12:04 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 6:52 am
Posts: 1003
Location: England
Hi Louis

Welcome and thanks for that link, I had been aware of some articles criticising the AA and abstenance methods, but hadn't realised they'd mentioned the use of TSM.

I really hope this can help you. Do be aware that the initial effect, which is sometimes called the 'honeymoon' period can wear off, but if you keep with it, keep taking the pill and keep your patience, then you give yourself the best success of breaking the addiction cycle.

_________________
Naltrexone Started 20th April 2011

Cravings eliminated Sept 2011
Now fully in control, alcohol no longer bothers me. Chose to go AF from 22nd July 2013.
TSM set me free


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 Post subject: Re: Two Days In
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:30 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2015 8:46 am
Posts: 32
Location: U.S.
http://www.centersite.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=11132&cn=14

This is another great article. Written by a Dr. who had not read the book but listened to a podcast. He gives his take on how he thinks it would work just based on his pharmacological knowledge. I've read it a couple of times. A different take - very interesting.

_________________
Before TSM: 100+ units a week
After TSM
Weeks 1-3: wasn't tracking
Week 4: 53.5 / 2 AF
Week 5: 74.1 / 2 AF


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 Post subject: Re: Two Days In
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 9:47 am 
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Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2015 7:52 am
Posts: 56
Thank you Mcdad for the link. I had read that one as well and it is certainly informative. Yesterday was the third day for me on the pill. It was also my first opportunity/obligation to social drink with friends. I want to say first that on occasions when I social drink, I TYPICALLY would swig at least twice from the bottle of vodka I kept omnipresent under the front seat of my car before I walked in. Because the anticipation of drinking was so strong that I couldn't even stand the moments it would take for the bartender to serve me.

Having taken my pill well in advance, I was pleasantly secure in NOT feeling that desperate anticipation. I didn't buy or drink alcohol in advance of heading to the bar.

I only drank 2 drinks in 2 hours! This social drinking 'date' with friends on Sunday afternoons is a long-standing social obligation at which I usually (and by usually, I mean always) get totally wasted. Last week, for example, I was drunk enough on leaving the bar that I rear ended someone's van. Yes, I was a mess. Hopefully no more.

I will say that I felt CRANKY rather than euphoric after having my two drinks. Not sure if that was a medical side effect or just chance, but I didn't stay late. Usually I would have stayed till 11. It was a really wonderful feeling to drive home mostly sober and know that I was safe!

Not to mention that I was actually tired when I got home and slept beautifully. For the 3rd day in a row. Alcohol had messed up my sleep cycle so bad that it was rare for me to sleep 4 hours. Then I would have to drink again in the afternoon in order to nap!! Nightmare.

I feel more like a human than I have in a longlong time. I do feel also sort of depressive and low, but I guess that's probably normal. My body and mind are going through an unbelievable shift. I can't remember the last weekend that I didn't have 18-20 or more units of alcohol. This weekend:FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



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 Post subject: Re: Two Days In
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:03 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 21, 2014 2:56 pm
Posts: 481
Location: London, UK
sounds like you've made a brilliant start - well done & keep up the good work!

-badger

_________________
tracking on 1st post of my progress thread


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 Post subject: Re: Two Days In
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:53 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2015 8:46 am
Posts: 32
Location: U.S.
Cool - I am also 3 days in. I have a feeling there is some placebo affect early on, just to be aware. I have notice that my craving is less about 45-60 minutes after taking my NAL - this could also be placebo. Not sure. But it's nice not having the "I can't wait to have a drink" feeling.

_________________
Before TSM: 100+ units a week
After TSM
Weeks 1-3: wasn't tracking
Week 4: 53.5 / 2 AF
Week 5: 74.1 / 2 AF


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 Post subject: Re: Two Days In
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 12:35 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:39 pm
Posts: 7
Hi Brittany,

I also just started TSM a few days ago after reading the exact same article in The Atlantic as you did. It looks like we are making up our own new little "Atlantic wave" of TSM adopters washing up in this community, all lured here by just that one article!

As a twice-relapsed 12-Stepper, I guess I started reading the article more out of self-loathing than anything else, and was not ready for such a very unusual revelation halfway through reading it, namely the existence of TSM. I already consider myself extremely lucky for having randomly stumbled across it a few weeks ago.

I plan on eventually sharing the article on social media once I get some more TSM time under my belt and am familiar with more of the ups and downs of the recovery process. I'm still very uncomfortable talking about my alcoholism to almost everyone except my wife, but if TSM is even half of what it's cracked up to be, then my attitude about this might have to change eventually.

Thanks for sharing your story, I really enjoyed reading it. We have almost nothing in common aside from having read the same magazine article that brought us here to begin with, but best wishes for you on your recovery all the same! :)

-JT


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 Post subject: Re: Two Days In
PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 8:34 am 
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Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2015 7:52 am
Posts: 56
Today is the start of my 5th day. I have had 5 units of alcohol TOTAL since starting... and not the drunkards pour, where every drink is really like two drinks, either!

so far, the pill works exactly as advertised. I still feel the effects of the alcohol, I feel warm and a little light headed, but I don't get that craze of happiness that makes me drink till I fall asleep. This is miraculous.

There has not been a 5 day stretch in YEARS (Not counting the 6 weeks last March when I tried to quit cold turkey) that I have had so little to drink. I've been sleeping 8 or 9 hours a night! I know I mentioned before, that one of the hardest things about becoming a heavy drinker, was that I could never sleep. And definitely never sleep properly.

I seriously feel like I have turned back the clock. I am only 32 but I could feel myself aging and killing myself. I am sure this is just a part of a honeymoon phase, but I am elated nonetheless. I hope those of you that are on the same early stage of this path as I am are doing well and experiencing equal success.


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 Post subject: Re: Two Days In
PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 9:06 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2015 8:46 am
Posts: 32
Location: U.S.
Awesome brittany!

I too am on my 5th day today.

I have felt really good since Friday. My mindset has been that I am on my way to recovery with TSM. Can't expect miracles - you have to really WANT it, am I right?

I have drank each of the past 4 days. Saturday was bad I got drunk. But the other days were so-so. Yesterday was awesome! Wife and kids went away to grandma's house. Typically that is an auto trigger for me to get drunk. I took my NAL and a little more than an hour later poured bourbon on the rocks. I only finished it because I didn't want it to go to waste. I didn't drink again until the game came on last night. I was sober when they got home. Didn't get drunk. Went to bed with a buzz. It was unbelievable. I need to be careful of the honeymoon thing, but I'll tell you that was soooo encouraging. What a day.

Today wife is leaving for work. I have the kids. And I am NOT obsessing with the "can't wait for her to leave so I can start drinking." Feels so good. I hope this is the path to freedom. I hate obsessing. Feeling great this morning.

_________________
Before TSM: 100+ units a week
After TSM
Weeks 1-3: wasn't tracking
Week 4: 53.5 / 2 AF
Week 5: 74.1 / 2 AF


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