I am 48 years old, and have had issues alcohol much of my life. I drank heavily in my 20s and into my early 30s before going abstinent for nearly 10 years.

Then I ran into a horrific rough patch at work. Extreme stress, and started drinking again. The drinking over the next 7 years progressed to drinking to blacking out most evenings. I was functioning, sort of, but couldn't go a night without drinking. Occasionally, I could pull together one, maybe two nights of sobriety, and then I was back to drinking again. Some nights I'd wake up at 4am half-sobered up, and need to drink again to sleep through the night.

I had tried AA and it just didn't work for me. I was looking around for another answer when I found out about the Sinclair Method last fall. As a scientifically minded guy, it made a ton of sense to me. My compulsion to drink was really pavlovian. I just couldn't stop myself. Every day driving home from work, I'd try to tell myself, "not tonight", but every night I drank anyway. I was pretty damn far down the road of alcoholism.

I went to Kaiser Permanente's addiction clinic and asked for a prescription for Naltrexone. While they were somewhat hesitant, they gave me one. They were aware of the treatment, but really didn't seem to be bought in. They asked me to go to counseling too, which I agreed to. The counseling didn't help much, it just confirmed some of the life issues that are motivating my drinking. (I hate my job and need a new one.)

The first night, the Naltrexone gave me a horrible reaction. I had very intense adominal cramps all night and didn't sleep at all. So, I cut the pill up and started with a quarter pill, worked up to a half and then a whole. I _needed_ this method to work for me.

I didn't try to change my drinking behavior at all, I just took the pill an hour before drinking and went on as if nothing else had changed. My wife noticed a change immediately. While I was drinking to drunkenness every night still, the amount I was drinking and the pace was way down. I used to get drunk enough that she couldn't really talk to me later in the evening. That stopped. We could watch TV and I wouldn't forget what we'd seen or pass out. Within the first month I stopped blacking out at night. I didn't notice the change as much as she did (she was very happy with the change!) since I still felt I was drinking every night to drunkenness even if it wasn't as much.

But over the months, I have slowed my drinking more and more. Three weeks ago, I took a vacation to Bangkok, and I drank as usual there, but coming back, I just thought to myself, "getting hung over on a plane sucks", and so in the 20 hour flight back, I had a couple of glasses of wine with meals, and that was it. Then I got home and was feeling great and rested and ... didn't drink the rest of the week at all, but indulged on the weekend, though not too badly.

I haven't drunk at all this week either, and figure I'll have some wine when we go out to dinner tomorrow for a play. Yesterday, I had a HORRIBLE day. It just sucked, and I was sure that I would drink, so later in the evening when I normally would drink I took my naltrexone... but didn't feel like I really wanted or needed a drink to deal with the day, and so went to bed sober.

I care less about the days of sobriety than the fact that they weren't hard fought victories. Before, any night I managed sobriety was by overcoming the incredible compulsion to drink. These last few weeks, it really hasn't been a struggle. I just.. havent' felt like it. I've been dieting and I wanted to stick to my diet and not consume more calories and shockingly that desire was enough to just not drink that night.

My goal is to get to the point that my wife and I can enjoy a bottle of wine with nice meals, and a few drinks now and then, but that alcohol not rule my nights.

So far, so good. Even if I never get any better than this, this is Sooo Sooo Sooo much better than where I was 6 months ago that I consider myself lucky.

I hope others have similar luck with their alcohol issues. This method has been a god-send to this atheist.

Well said! Also, I loved the quip about TSM being a god-send to an atheist...heh, heh, heh...

Cartu, what a wonderful, wonderful post. You sum it up very well, how you just followed the (one) rule and got where you want to be. Or very close! Sounds like you're reclaiming your life, saving your health, losing weight, and making your wife happy to boot. Thanks for adding to the conversation and offering encouragement to us all. Be sure to check back in and put your name on the Cured List when the time comes.

Chrissie

Welcome aboard!

I hope you'll find this group helpful and that you can document your story for the collective wisdom and accumulated experience this place represents.

best wishes!

Cartu,

You are farther along than me, but 90% of what you have written sounds to me like I must have written it but forgotten. Of course, these days that kind of thing doesn't really happen anymore . I completely echo that if it gets no better, I'll still consider it amazing, and that my wife notices the difference even more than I do. I think I must have been in a decent amount of denial about how fast I was drinking/how drunk I was getting.

Can anyone tell me why I can't read my replies to my past introducing myself? I see there has been replies, but don't see them. Boy do I feel like a dummy but want to share in this forum.