I am what you call a high functioning alcoholic. I'm a tech executive that holds down a high paying job in the six figures. I dress well, eat well, and live in a million dollar home. I say all these things not to brag but to preface my next sentence.

I wish I was a skid row drunk living in a dumpster. At least then, I and everyone around me would finally recognize that I have a problem. You know what the worst thing about being a high functioning alcoholic is? Not having to make excuses for myself. Not having to make excuses for myself because everyone around me (my family, friends, girlfriend, co-workers) will make them for me. "Oh, he's just a hard drinker, and likes to live on the edge." "You're not an alcoholic, alcoholic's can't hold onto a job."

Well, I am an alcoholic. And have been for awhile. I don't know when I crossed that line from being a person who chose to drink hard sometimes to someone who had to drink hard. But that line has definitely been crossed. I may not be in a position with my drinking right now to "lose" everything, but I'm certainly not living the life I want to live. I live for the weekends so I can drink myself into a stupor only to sober myself up for work on Monday. That's not really a life worth living.

I was watching the "Shawshank Redemption," of all things the other night and I was incredibly moved by something Tim Robbins said in the movie even though I've heard the line several times in previous viewings. "Get busy living or get busy dying." It's then I realized that I was slowly killing myself with alcohol. I didn't even have the guts to end it abruptly.

"Get busy living or get busy dying." I want to get busy living again. I think all of us on this board do.

-Chance

Yep, alcoholism doesnt deferenciate between rich or poor, young or old. Then again no other illness does either. My mother never drank untill she was close to 80 years old. That was about two years ago and she is now an alcoholic.

Chance I sent you a personal message, not sure if you saw how to check for those yet.

Chance,

The great thing about TSM is that it doesn't care what kind I'd alcoholic you are, or even if you or your family (and friend) consider you an alcoholic. You just take the nal one hour before drinking everytime and over time you will very likely have a reduced interest in alcohol. I've known plenty of high-functioning and "successful" alcoholics during my many years of AA, treatment centers and through my own family. This is more common then you may realize. Many of the folks on this board don't have family (or even doctor) support and have worked TSM successfully. Thanks for sharing your story and welcome to the board!!! BTDT

Hi Chance - welcome. You certainly have given us something to think about. I guess I would call myself a 'medium' functioning drunk. I was able to get to work and make a living and do motherly stuff for my kids - but I spent a lot of time on my face too.

So maybe 'medium' bordering on 'low' But descriptions like this are weird when we use them to quantify, or qualify, our horrible relationship with alcohol.

thanks for the great quote too, I've passed it on to someone who really needs to hear this stuff. I hope it makes him think too. Welcome again and we're all waiting to hear your progress and how your relationships change for the better - and once you are quite well into this process you may feel you can share this with some of your friends and loved ones.

Yep. Isn't it funny that even though alcoholics are often accused of living in denial, in the case of people like myself and yourself, those in denial are our family and friends? The frustration of actually having to try and convince a friend that yes, in fact, I have a drinking problem and no, I am not coping with it the way I appear to be, has caused me to give up ever talking about it to that person again. But anyway, sorry to hijack your thread there - it was great to read your story. G.

"Get busy living or get busy dying"
Thanks for that.

Hey Chance,

Thanks so much for posting all of that. I can totally relate. I know exactly what it's like for others to make excuses for you. I also know what it's like for those very same people to someday turn to you and start asking a few concerned questions, oh sure, not the coworkers, but the close family, and maybe a single friend or two. It's all too easy to ward off any concern based on their previous consent of our behavior.

I also understand your feeling of wanting to be on skid row to be aligned physically with where you are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Trust me, although you think you want it, you don't (and I'm pretty sure you agree when you get right down too it). You've already done what you're wishing out of skid row, you've admitted it, you've taken action, and you still get to keep your nice house

We may be the lucky ones... knock on wood.

I think TSM lends itself perfectly to "High Functioners". It is based in science and for most of us, required a bit of effort to discover and to implement. I wish we had more doctors to prescribe NAL. On this line, I propose this....NAL is not a controlled substance, and as such can be given with 11 refils. If you have to drive 2-3 hours to get it, you would probably be given a year's supply. I think most of us would drive 2-3 hours for a year's worth of NAL?

When I told my wife that I have a drinking problem, she said "No you do not"