When I was 12 or 13 my parents would go out for the evening and I would mix up drinks using all the various bottles so they wouldn’t notice anything missing. I quit doing this when I was about 14, but I rediscovered boose (I can’t spell this right because I spilled wine in my keyboard) when I was 16. One of my high school friends and her boyfriend were drinking Mickey’s big mouths. I got drunk and walked all around my neighborhood – it was awesome!

We moved to Montana soon thereafter, and I started playing bass in country bands in bars. The drinking age was 18 in those days, and they were not real big on checking IDs – especially if you’re in the band – and all the drinks were free. I did this for a couple of years, tried and failed to go to the University, lived off of girlfriends, and generally flailed around.

Eventually I started playing in cover bands on the road. We would travel all over doing 6 night a week gigs. The pay was sustenance, bar tab, and free girls (redundant, I know). I did this for years, interspersed with trying to go to school, get a real relationship, and cut down on the drinking. I didn’t really see it as a problem.

My son was born in ’94, and his mom and I split in ’96. Alcohol may have played a part . . . I moved to Bellingham WA and ran a music store (financed by my family) for about a year. I held it together OK but the store opened late sometimes. Then I met a crasy (wine in keyboard) girl and kind of went nuts for a while. But that’s a story for a different message board.

I pulled things together and moved to Seattle in ’98. I came here for the summer to make some money painting houses. 11 years later I’m still here. I now own a business doing painting and window cleaning. We’re the guys you see hanging off of 30 story buildings. Sound scary? Try doing it with a hangover!

I’ve been with my girlfriend for nearly 5 years now. We were drunks when we met., but she quit cold turkey 4 years ago. Her quitting has made me acutely aware of my problem. She puts up with it, but not happily. We can’t live together because of my 3 or 4 night a week habit. I started to try to quit drinking about a year and a half ago. I was shocked when it didn’t take.

I tried cold turkey, willpower, Rational Recovery, My Way Out, and I almost even went to AA! I started following the Sinclair “debate” over at the MWO forums, and I was fascinated. This was the first system I had heard of that really fit with what I had learned in Psych and Biol classes at the U of M. (I guess some of it stuck).

I just started the program yesterday. I think I’m doing well because I took my Nal and got pretty drunk last night! My girlfriend is skeptical, and I don’t blame her. To some it seems insane to “drink your way sober”, but I know I can do it.

My goal is to become alcohol independent by July 4, when I will take my sailboat out to Lake Union and watch the fireworks with a beer in my hand. Or maybe it will be a tall glass of water by then. All I know is I will be able to make that choice of my own free will.

Special thanks to SpringerRider, who’s MWO posts brought me here.

Welcome, and I am cooking so have to dash to the stove. "Read" you later, best to you!

Hi Firebird. Great handle and avatar, and I enjoy your writing style. Welcome to the board! I suspect you're going to help keep things lively around here, judging from this post. Your goal for July 4th is great, but don't set that date in stone. This process can take 4-6 months, though you'll probably be enjoying positive results by that date. I'm learning not to worry about dates, results, etc. - but just to take a Naltrexone every single time I plan to drink. If I plan to not drink, and don't make the goal. . .well, there's always next week, or month, when I WILL have the freedom to make that choice and stick with it.

I think I welcomed you before FB, but welcome again!

Good to have you here.

Thanks for sharing! I am hoping for a "mellow" 4th as well.

Hello my friend!
I understand the band background and all the partying that that entails. I was the lead singer in an 80s New Wave Band and before that, a late 70s country swing band...sooooooo much fun, but sooooo much drinking (and yes, the drugs, altho I didn't get into them too much). The speed/cocaine I knew was going to kill me - I got so skinny, which was nice, but my brain had a constant zing/hum sound going on for days after using, like motocycles on a freeway - I couldn't handle it, thankfully. (Altho I do have fine memories of sniffing those lines thru a $100 bill like we were hot shots - momentarily fun!) Pot made me sleepy & daft when combined w/ alcohol. I finally realized, I just liked the booze....

Ahhhhhhhhhh - good times! LOL But here is where I landed & not so LOLing 25+ yrs later. HHiing (hopefully hoping) Appreciate your story and looking forward to marking our progresses together!

Is there any better sleep than on the bus, in your bunk after the show, with the diesel purring, the bottle of Sauza snuggled in between your mattress and the headboard, watching that little TV screen and waiting for the driver to take you to the next town? It's hard to shift from one reality to the next, but I have to realize that what worked in those times doesn't work now. This method is giving me a kind of "slow shift", where I don't have to cut short the dreams and visions that have kept me going in the past - those dreams that give color and vibrance to my future.