I started this journey May 8 and I have found the normal s.e. at the beginning. I was scared that this wasn't going to work for me, for I still felt the need to drink nightly. The amount of a.l. was down, not because I didn't crave more, for I was afraid of the nal. overs. Someone suggested to do a forced a.f., and someone else suggested to drink slower and drink water in between. And I tried both. First, I had a successful 2 a.f. days, but I had a headache that wouldn't go away by the third so I drank. Big mistake for I didn't slow down, I didn't count, and I didn't drink water in between, so guess what happen. I followed that with a a.f. day. But the strangest thing happened the following day, my next bottle of wine caused another nal-over. I thought I new my limit, but I guess my limit is changing. So as I was in bed praying to sleep through this wicked feeling, I thought of Drop Dead Fred.

I feel like the women who was seeing her childhood imaginary friend that did things to get her in trouble, except my friend isn't imaginary. I do have to take a pill so I no longer see (or want) this friend to get me in trouble. No one could see drop dead Fred except her, just like no one can see my struggles. I just wished that, like in the movie, those around me could see that taking this pill and drinking is the only way my "friend" will go away. But instead I am a drunk and I should not be drinking pill or no pill.

After that day I have realized that if I have more than one glass...more will follow. And I do hope and pray that I can get over these headaches so my a.f. days will be more than 2 days in a row.

You are trying too hard, too soon. Take it easy. Always take your Nal an hour before you drink, then drink as "you normally would" or feel like. After 3 or 4 months we can start looking at AF days. We don't want you to get discouraged, and TSM rarely requires any white-knuckle efforts.

P.S. All of us here can see your struggles.

Thanks for the reminder. I just don't understand why I get headaches when I am off the nal. Is it the lack of al? The weather? Or is it my receptors are overloaded and it is causing these vise gripping headaches? I have scanned others experiences and I have found only one member complaining about the headaches on a.f. days. He mentioned it once, and moved on...I hope that will the case for me. To have this type of headache is not fun. I cannot think clearly, I am dizzy and nothing over the counter is working (why I give up and take the nal.). I do keep myself hydrated and I just had my eye checked, so it must be something else. If anyone has a trick to get rid of these please let me know I would deeply appreciate it.

Jaba

Alcohol is a painkiller, remove it and I think you have to get used to normal pains.

Also could be stress (withdrawl from alcohol), or dehydration. Less alcohol and time tend to fix this.

You are right U.K. Blonde

I was using al as a pain reliever for my headaches and back pain, so having a headache is haunting my brain will have to endure. I keep myself pretty hydrated during the day and most of the night, but I can always use more.

Day #2 down from my af days, still a slight headache, but my desire is surprisingly less. I really thought I would be climbing the wall by now, but all I want to do is to have a good night sleep.

Thanks again,

Jaba

I really needed to read this. I'm only 2 months in, after a honeymoon, and was really starting to freak out that nal would not work for me.
Idid think this morning, at least it's been a year since she died. I'm glad it's not the day of it. Nothing will compare with the pain of that. So, it is a bit better.

This grief of losing a child to suicide is really something you never expect what emotions you have. All new and nothing in my past prepared me for it. A lot of sadness, guilt, disbelief, anger, feeling angry at her for leaving her 2 children, 8 & 18, Her not leaving them a note of how much she loved them. And I could go on and on. And most, I'll never have an answer.

Losing her made me question the existence of God, something I'd alway believed. How could he let this happen!? And lately the thought of, maybe he thought it was ok, for her to leave this earth. I don't know.

So much for my deep thoughts, lol. I'm really doing ok, considering the circumstances. I am getting help, but it will be a long road.

I'm so grateful for the sinclair method to help me with at least keeping me from being a self pitting non stop drunk. Because otherwise, I'd just be drunk non stop. With this I have an aid to help me through it all.

ThankIs if you listened to my rant.

Tamara,

We are all here for you! You are not alone in this!

Jaba

Tamara, I don't know what to say other than I want to be here for you. Please let me know how. XOXO Newlife

Tamara, there is nothing more painful than the loss of a child, and I can only imagine how much more difficult it is when the loss was from suicide. I sorry you are carrying that burden. I am finishing up week 13 and seeing some changes but nothing major. We are all in this together and we will succeed!

Hang in there, Jaba! I hope you are headache free one day soon.

I'm grateful those children have you. They will need your strength as much as you will.
Steve.