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A wonderful thoughtful introduction. I wish you the best of luck.
EL

Hello EOB and welcome to the forum. I assure you that you amongst kindreds!

Most of us on this board loathe A.A. however, I do actually agree with one of their sayings and that is: We are only as sick as our secrets. So, while it takes courage to "out" your alcoholic self, it is necessary to bring it from the dark and into the light.

Big step, lady. Congratulations.

Ready for one hell of a ride?
Are you buckled up?

Because according to your own admission, you have been hitting the wine hard for a decade plus. And that means that there are lots of triggers to be extinguished. One by one and sip by sip.

Are you aware of the rules? The first two nights of drinking you take 25 mgs. Then on your third drinking episode on, it's 50 mgs. one hour EVERYTIME you drink. That's it. Seems simple but the road is long and winding.

There's a lot of support here. Glad you made it!

Again welcome,

Ketchikan1

Hey EOB --

Thanks for your introduction. It can't have been easy to write those things down. We all know what feelings of guilt and weakness our drinking can provoke.

But you've made a big step and TSM is a solid program. And we're here to back you up. Keep posting and stay on plan!

Hi EOB and welcome, I am looking forward to seeing your progress.

I'm curious, did your doctor suggest TSM to you or did you tell her about it?

Best,

Curi

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Thank you so much for sharing your story! It sounds like we had a similar childhood. I remember as a little boy watching my father, grandfathers, uncles and great uncles sit around every Saturday night putting back their whiskey and beer ( John Wayne types ). For the most part as a kid, it seemed like so much fun to me as they would crack jokes on each other and get drunk. Yes, there was the occasional flare up, some punches thrown but what the heck they were all men and nobody got killed -lol. I still thought it was normal at the time. Also hearing all those stories about WWII where they served and their stories of the Great Depression I figured drinking was something adults needed to unwind and to forget some of the horrors of their past.

To follow in their footsteps I joined the Army where drinking was considered normal and reward for a hard week's work.
After the Army, I put myself through college by being of all things a bartender while I went to college full-time. That's where life starts to get interesting. Up until that point I drank (only ) beer once a week maybe 6-8 on a Saturday night. I felt I didn't have a problem. My mother on the other hand started warning me of becoming like them. Being a bartender I start drinking much more then usual and off nights like a Monday and graduated into shots and beers. Trust me, I had some enablers. I used to party until 5am! My new drinking routine never stopped even after I graduated college except I didn't stay up that late. After getting married and moving to Arizona I started to slip over into drinking 4-5 times a week. I figured it was the stress of being broke, newly married and hating my job. I became an expert at rationalizing things.

Like you at first I felt this is the last place I wanted to be in my life. But, after reading the book and joining this site I feel the most positive I have had in many years! I feel more control and more clarity on Nal then I have had since I was in my 20's! My urges are down sharply and I no longer have that gnawing craving. I still have a long way to go but I feel I am on the right path and I pray it works for you.

Welcome!!

I am sure this is going to work for you. Your drinking reminds me of myself around 6 or 8 years ago, when I started to realize that it was becoming a daily routine that I really could not stop. I remember telling my doctor for the first time and that was a huge step. Alcoholism is in my family genes: Grandpa, cousins, uncles, it seemed to miss my dad.

I actually had email contact with Dr. Eskapa and he felt like the genetic link to alcoholism was a "good sign" that NAL would work. I am sure that if I had found TSM and NAL at your stage of my drinking, I wouldn't have had the problems that I did. I got to the point where my wife was losing hope that we would ever get back to the way we were and my daily drinking had increased to where I could barely hold on to my job and I checked into a 28 day rehab.

I am sure this will work for you and I cannot wait to follow your story. Please keep posting. I spent time in AA, and there are many things about it that are very good.

Two of the best things about AA are that you can release all the problems, issues, struggles, etc. to people who care and won't judge you. The other thing is the support that you give others, which makes you feel good.

I would suggest that a commitment to posting on this site almost every day, and reading stories of others, and supporting them is just what your Doctor ordered!

All the best, you are in the right place. We are all here for you!

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That's a great idea EOB. There were some others that mentioned they want to chat in real-time but so far I haven't seen anything come of that. If you know how to create a blog then take the lead! I haven't done anything like that yet.

I like that your Doctor prescribed writing 20 minutes a day. My one counselor told me she liked that idea as well. I myself love to write but as you stated I also worry about being too profuse for this site. So far, I kind of feel like I have been on this journey alone. Yes, I did see a psychiatrist and a addiction counselor for four visits ( in order to get my Nal ) but I didn't connect with them. I have a strong feeling I am going to be on this program for quite a while so it would be very nice to make some friends along the way!