Welcome drunkie,
I love your honesty and lack of self pity. You're gonna make it through. I feel it. But it takes patience and awareness. Meaning NOT trusting the thoughts your alcohol addicted brain creates, like that you aren't hungry. The worst thing an alcoholic can do, IMHO, is trust their thoughts and feelings, until we have been sober, like several months. I mean it.

Totally identify with the not wanting to eat so the buzz will be faster. Just take the NAL and hang in there. I find I have to make myself eat some breakfast and lunch, even if it is half an apple. My hunger response has just about been destroyed by alcohol, so I can't trust not feeling hungry. I know that if I eat something I will drink less and hangovers will be less. Even some half and half in my morning coffee reduces the urge to drink.

Anxiety drove me to drink but unfortunately alcohol CREATES anxious feeling, a major part of hangover. I am finding that the less I drink, the less anxious I feel. Funny. Huh? And if I keep myself fed, I crave less alcohol. Not rocket science, just willingness to stop living less and start living more, which takes more courage than one thinks.

Very wise words, jim!

Bob

True, jim. In another thread I was advising to "listen carefully" to your body, but when a person is in the throes of heavy addiction, the body will lie. Or more accurately, the addicted brain will lie, pretending to be the body, and advising you to do things like get hammered on an empty stomach. I used to do this all the time.

So to amend my previous advice, I think that once the fog has lifted (after several months of sobriety or controlled drinking) it's a good idea to listen to your body. That has been one of the major benefits of tsm: I can trust what my body is telling me again.

Welcome drunkie, and good luck!

Fire

Anxiety has not been my problem, as far as I could remember sober days. I mean days between being drunk which are gone now. I am down to hours between drinks. And as far as food goes I got things alright and rarely miss good breakfast which lasts till after dinner drinking.

In a way I feel point of no return. Go little further and you loose whatever you got, stable job, ex family, prospect of relationship. I've not been in so pathetic state ever. I can't drink my way out of it because t just does not freaking work and I will keep avoiding strong alcohol. Personal commitments and obligations are still keeping me on the edge.

As for posion of choise, it's either light beer easy to get anywhere, or most expensive strong microbrew available in only few local stores which I raided on regular basis and which all had sudden and continued spike in demand to deal with or cheap wine you know cheap does not mean bad it can be better than what you get on top shelf.

drunkie hang in there, there's a whole new world waiting for you down the road that has hope, love, real relationships and a pretty sound mind. Please keep posting and remember you're not alone in this we're all doing down the same tsm road.

corkit

Chiming in to say hello, Drunkie (ehhhh - maybe rethink to a more positive moniker?? esp. as you become less of one). I hope this method goes well for you and want to encourage you to eat one heathy meal a day. Especially protein - cheese, meat, nuts, eggs - something like that to be a base in your stomach. You need to eat.

Welcome to our community and hope you find success!