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hi BGH - I read it and it was a wonderful post, thank you for taking the time to write it.

TSM will get you where you want to go, I'm glad you found it. My Doctor just recommended magnesium for sleeping - I take Tryptophan but I know others take 5HTP to help them sleep - have you tried that for sleeping at night? I used to take tryptophan for anxiety during the day but it makes me too sleepy.

Also - have you seen the movie Julie & Julia? Given your french cooking comment you may enjoy it. It's rather long, but enjoyable...

Glad you are with us and hope you post often.

Take care,

Hey, we are mirror images except I do drink more that you do. I did not drink from 87 til NEW YEAR'S EVE 2000 when I picked up a glass of champagne, not planned. It was downhill from there! I didn't marry the guy I was with but was in love at the time. Wow, guess we are in this together. Talk about six degrees of seperation. Join the crowd. I was progressive from 2000 til maybe 2004 when I started to have a problem again with the wine! Oh, love, love, love Canada. Went there for our honeymoon, Montreal and Old Quebec City!

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Great story BGH - thanks for sharing. You've found a great place here, filled with people who care, and will always be here to cheer you on. Welcome aboard!

I thought your story was fascinating and very well written.

If you read the book by Eskapa, a major point of the book is that drinking alcoholically is not a rational choice, it's a reflexive, conditioned response. There isn't a single person here who can't entirely relate to your point: "This makes me miserable. Why do I do this, time and time again?" Answer: For the same reason the conditioned dog salivates when it hears the bell after it was paired with food: it's a reflexive, conditioned response that we have no control over.

My only caveat to you is that for many, drinking on naltrexone changes the taste of alcohol. You are very likely to become a "normal drinker" but there is always the chance the wine won't taste the same. However, this would be a small price to pay for a happy and healthy life.

That's a great story BGH.
I can relate to so much of it especially wanting to drink good wine with good food lately.
I love to cook and I like to try gourmet cooking but I get sad that I have to drink so much that I barely care about the food I have prepared. And sometimes I don't even eat more than a bite because it might kill my alcohol buzz...crazy crazy stuff.
My husband drinks one glass of wine with his meal and that is all he wants. grrr
Anyway, I hope that you get the Nal and that it helps you to drink normally or not at all if that is what you choose.

Brit

BGh I didn't know you were originally from Montreal. I go up for work every year to Montreal and then to Old Quebec City and I just love it up there. I love the people, the food and the quaintness of it all. You seem just like them very down to earth and the feeling you can pull up a chair to your kitchen table, have some good food and good conversation.